Featuring Little Red Riding Hood

Prologue

Date: July 30th
Time: 11:45 PM.
Location: Posh DHA Bungalow
Occasion: Networking Dinner

A few days back, I was my usual self at a dinner with the supposed ‘in’ people of Karachi. Some I knew fairly well, in fact from the time and days when they had embarked their ‘in’ward journey to being stars or celebrities, whatever you chose to call them (which makes an entire subject for a column) and then of course, as is always the case, a room full of people I did not know. Night progressed in to small pockets of conversation camps, divisions based not on the quality of the topics but by the school you went to, The ‘peela school minority, which I represented’ and the ‘neela’ school majority of high-browed, moralizing liberals from the stigmatic private schools. There was occasional floor-crossing, each time one would get up for a few snacks or refills…waiting for my turn at the table, a lady walks up to me and reminds me of our common friend who now lives in the US, after a few pleasantries, she asked me an odd question… ‘why was it that my column ran upside down?’ A dear friend jumped to the rescue, proving his ‘more-loyal-than-the-King-type’ personality and exclaimed ‘this being a sheer carelessness of the Publishers of Mr’. Wait, I said…before I even answer, tell me why do you ask?, she smiles, rests her glass…gives me those Kim Bassenger looks from Nine and a Half weeks and says in a colorized tone, ‘I think you are trying hard to be different’…I asked her a question instead, ‘To try and want to be different is to innovate, seek alternate perspectives and experiment…is that bad?’. Her reply was astonishing, she in her typical neela-accent replied, ‘No…It’s in Fashion’.

Fashion. I thought this was an interesting perspective itself. A woman shall always be a red riding hood.

Date: August 14th, 2005
Time: 4:45 PM
Location: My Home Studio
Occasion: Independence Day
I am deliberating. Why did she even think this is Fashionable? I want my column to be printed upside down. Period. The publisher, the editor, the managing editor, they seem to agree, the art director is perfectly happy designing it straight and then rotating it 180 degrees for printing, I know a few who read my column the last time as well, all it took was a little effort. Ah…I get it. Effort. Now that’s a hard thing to do. But, but…if you want to see the alternate perspective, you’d have to go to the other side, doesn’t matter where, left, right, up, down…as long as you make an effort to see things from a different perspective. Not a very odd theory I think. So here you have yet another issue of Mr with my column. DOWNSIDE UP. So really, there’s no great secret to this, just that for something to be Downside Up, it must first be upside down. The little physics that I know should suffice for this rationale. Besides, quite frankly, I like it this way. Just as much as writing is an effort, so is reading. I’d be always happy to have a few read my column, instead of a lot reading and not getting it.

No. It’s not Fashion. No Sir. No Maam. It is plain and simple Shahzad Nawaz and yes, despite being a wolf not all men are wolves. It is like the parallel, all can be born male, but it takes a lot to be a man.

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1.
The ‘Big Bad Wolf’ we have all read about and heard of plots to conspire. Is it another move? Or is he merely trying to undo his stereotype image? Has he become fashion-conscious?

Here is what has happened since you last read the story, ‘Little Red Riding Hood’. Contrary to the author’s original plot, the Wolf decides to change his traits. Which obliviously made him an outcast immediately. And because of his self-styled revolt and ideas as bizarre as his, he was disowned by his own pack.

But then everything around us has changed hasn’t it? To the Wolf it was the 21st century, the ‘anything goes’ culture. Besides, it had been ages since he was playing his part. To him, the wolf, there was just no more fun left in the story. The drama, excitement, the twists and turns somehow all seemed to have vanished as if the ink faded away. He had come of age…he had realized as to how he was doing what a wolf is supposed to be doing in the plot. A perspective conceived by the author.

2.
The leader of the pack, the great wolf was upset. He was enraged as the wolf from the story had dared to change the expected and thus challenged the traditions of the known. It was blasphemy. For generations everyone, including the great wolf and the world had expected him to be none other than how he was destined in the book. The publishers were equally upset. Amidst much hue and cry there were these literary people who got together to protest against this conspiracy. After all, the book in question is an all-time favorite.. A ‘neela’ classic.

3.
In such suspension of disbelief, nobody was willing to accept or understand this transition. It seemed odd. None had the time to even consider how the wolf is tired. Perhaps, too tired to be the wolf. Imagine if you will, page after page, illustration after illustration, for years he had been plotting and reaching the end which in itself was a plot- the author’s plot.

Or maybe, I’d tend to think, he have had enough with the originality of the story. Generation after generation, from the peela version to the authentic neela version, it has survived people, cultures and times.

This is how it all started:

One day in the woods, somewhere around page 4 or maybe 5, the wolf was waiting to trap the innocent little red riding hood on her way back home, just when something…somehow went wrong and all of a sudden a thought occurred in his mind. It revealed to him, “All my life, till the very last page, in every edition and all the languages the book has been translated into, I am inked to mean harm- all this and more in the name of a great original concept. I am exploited to do as my master’s pen would please, I am playing my part just as many before me and so shall many, after I am gone- a stereotype wolf - the antagonist”.

Sooner before the thought would have found its way out with the reek of printing ink, the wind slowed down and there emerged from one side of the path, in the middle of the woods, cutting through the blades of wild grass was the charming, little red riding hood.

The wolf in absolute perplexity, rushed with thoughts so defying decided to confront her. Everything seemed as planned. Perfect and flawless. Strange enough in his confrontation this time, there was no fear or intent to harm. The wolf, it seemed had lost all his stride. To the world this moment signaled a possible end to a great story that has lived longer than anyone’s lifetime.

Unaware of such upsets in the plot, little red riding hood took her cue and started to run, she was supposed to wasn’t she? But the wolf, at best only walked towards her in complete grace with paws that seemed to know not of the claws.

“Hold it right there- Aren’t you supposed to come after me? Harm me? - Hey you, big bad wolf, let me tell you honestly, you just aren’t doing it right”. Little red riding hood was stressed at the wolf’s untimely change. She was disturbed, to her a wolf was only there in the story so that he could play the antagonist, try and bring her harm, and in the event of it all, push the story forward.

The wolf could not blame her for such reactions. After all, no matter what, all these years of being a celebrated character from a widely circulated book it was natural for her to have enjoyed the thrills of fighting the evils of him. Maybe, she had even gotten used to the happy ending every time one read the book about her.

The book, all said and done took its title because of her, or was it vice versa?

Nevertheless it was her show. She would call the shots.

4.
The wolf had no idea. He was confused about what had changed him? He believed it was fate that had changed him. But those around him insist to call it a coincidence. Anyway, as you prefer but the wolf had by now already made up his mind. To him it was not what he had been made to appear as but as to how he now feels. His present seemed of more significance than his past, and in his past there lied his history and tradition, which had built the reader’s perception.

The wolf was adamant to change the way the world would see him now onwards.

In a state of overwhelmed optimism, the wolf started to walk forward slowly towards little red riding hood. Blood gushed down his existence, thoughts chanted crescendo as he took moved.

There he was, moving to change- forever.

5.
What followed is a taboo of interaction. Between a wolf and a human- between a protagonist and an antagonist. The wolf by now had assumed or hoped how little red riding hood would warmly acknowledge this change. “Why would’nt she? after all, I am only offering to protect her with all my valor and respect her with all my chivalry!”. He had no idea for his were the deeds and to the world, mere words. And the slightest change in the word would change the entire story.

As he stood there in front of little red riding hood, his thought chain was quickly challenged by her innocent and yet stern voice. “I trust you to harm me’.

“Mean me harm and scare me please; for I in all my existence am written to feel this way. I shall never trust you to be any different no matter what. I know you as the wolf and I must get over with you by the 32nd page- and if I don’t the publishers will edit it. Come on, you know the cost of printing is sky high these days”.

“Wait. I am the new wolf”, said he to the little red riding hood in a tone that meant well and yet sounded weak in conviction. But his eyes gleamed with confidence that could only reflect his sincerity.

“Oh yes! But a wolf you are” replied little red riding hood.

“Now go on and help me finish the story, let me please not waste time. Let me ask why your eyes are so big? Why are your ears so big?…you know the lines right? … in case you’ve forgotten, just say you have big eyes so that I can see you…I have big ears so that I can hear you. Okay?” she asked in her rush to continue the story.

Looking at the wolf she smiled and said to him “Please don’t give me any new lines. I am not interested in ad-libbing”.

“ Won’t you listen to what I have to say? I have no lines to give but to confess? Asked the wolf.

“Oh no, please!!!! Let’s not get in to any of this. Go on, say those lines and help me finish the story. I will not change for anyone. I have known you from our first edition, you are the same wolf only illustrated differently and let me make myself very clear, if at all you want to be a part of this story, you must do as I tell you to and accept me as I am- don’t forget, if you don’t, this world is full of wolves- we’d find another”. Her words echoed in the woods as the wolf stood in complete dismay.

“No, I did not hear all this” he said to himself. “I am sincere, I have nothing to gain I know, it is a lost cause I hear, but then why can she not see the good I want?” the wolf seemed puzzled by little red riding hood’s reaction.

All he had hoped all along was another role in the story.

“Look, I know what you are trying to say and maybe you actually mean it too, but like I have said before either accept me for what I am or else… I have been brought up to fall in your trap only to be rescued- yes, you are my partner in this story, close to me of course but again, you are and shall always be the big bad wolf for me. I am not supposed to listen to your sweet talk for I already do that in the script”.

These words by little red riding hood were followed by a long pause.

It seemed that she was convienced. The wolf by now had broken down, his convictions had too seem to give up on him as he said his last words “Indeed I remain a wolf as ever and nature can perhaps never be changed. But it is not about your nature or mine, it is about our respect for each other’s feelings for they, if true can change anything”.

The wolf knew it was easier said than done. It wasn’t easy for him alone to convince the world to write the story anew. He was in pain.

“Grant me the liberty, little red riding hood. I want to be on your side. All I ask of you is to let a wolf protect you for a wolf knows how wolves move”. This was an attempt perhaps by the wolf to give another morale to the story. All he wanted to contest was that wolves if true to their blood and when loved, too can have a lion’s pride to share.

“You!!!! Finish the story” screamed little red riding hood. Hearing her screams, the wolf started to take a retreat to be on his page and take his cue, perhaps for one last time. Walking back to his place in the story he could hear her echo in the woods; “I have always been a bestseller, don’t you dare upset my ratings- I know what your problem is, you have started to take things too seriously. You need to realize its only a story book, please don’t make it any difficult for thinking it is reality”.

And so the wolf took his last jump and attacked little red riding hood. “Help” she screamed in excitement and absolute glory. “Save me from the big bad wolf”.

6.
It is said that the books out in the market are revised now. There is a wolf in the story as always but rumors have it that the original wolf was last seen walking away in the woods and was never heard of again.